How To Deal (A Response To Brighid's Guide To Melancholy)
By Zayne Reeves

Last month, Brighid Mooney, my colleague and friend, wrote a damn fine editorial about how not to fight loneliness.  Having taken more than a few headlong dives into Bone Machine territory myself, I winced in recognition as I read off many of my own usual suspects in her travelogue of misery and gin. After reading it, I found myself compelled to write an "answer song" of sorts to serve as an antidote to its gloomy poison. After a steady diet of Elliott Smith (with a Radiohead chaser, no less) you need something to pick you back up, dry the tears for you and then firmly nudge you back into the light of another day. But, by the same token, you don't want your intelligence insulted by trite "happy! happy! joy! joy!" pablum, either. Happiness comes in spurts and, truth be told, I think most of us like it that way. Too much of that stuff will put you next door to Ned Flanders, which has about the same level of appeal as being roommates with Roky Erikson. Our five basic emotions are glad, sad, bad, mad and scared. Glad is the only absolute positive out of the whole bunch with scared going either way depending on your need for speed. We're not supposed to feel great all the time (this is why I do not have a self-help book coming to a Borders near you!) so don't look for that here. What I have done instead is put together a small list of situations we all go through and a soundtrack for each one that I hope will reinforce Townes Van Zandt's wise assertion that "There ain't no dark till something shines/I'm bound to leave this dark behind."

You Broke My Heart, So Fuck You (Girls) 

1. “If You Knew,” Neko Case (The Tigers Have Spoken)

You busted ass to hold on to him only to watch as the jackass drops you for some jezebel. Although I have a difficult time imagining any guy ditching Neko, she certainly sings it like she knows it. Sample lyric - "She spends her daddy's money/And she drives her daddy's car/And what's crazy is the way you think that's not."


2. “Dig Me Out,” Sleater-Kinney (Dig Me Out)

A messy, cathartic blast of garage noise that is absolutely essential because sometimes you need to be reminded that girls will always have the bigger, brassier set of balls on them. Sample lyric - "Dig me out/Dig me in/Outta this life/Baby, outta my head/What do you want?/What do you know?"


3. “Changed The Locks,” Lucinda Williams (Lucinda Williams)

For the man who not only broke your heart but is showing some interest in breaking down your door and possibly moving some living room furniture around as well. Sample lyric - "I changed the kind of car I drive/So you can't see me when I go by/And you can't chase me up the street/And you can't knock me off of my feet."


4. “Look At Miss Ohio,” Gillian Welch (Soul Journey)

You take a look in the mirror and see a pretty girl staring right back at you. You smile, you douse yourself in glitter and you go out dancing. Repeat as often as you like. Sample lyric - "Mama starts pushing that wedding gown/Yeah, you wanna do right/But not right now."


5. “Pretend I Never Happened,” Willie Nelson (Phases & Stages)

The poor bastard is now a distant memory and, if he's smart, he'll stay gone. Sample lyric - "Pretend I never happened/Erase me from your mind/You will not want to remember/Any love as cold as mine."


You Broke My Heart So Fuck You (Boys)

1. “Common People,” William Shatner (Has Been)

I like Pulp very much, but I must confess an honest preference to Rocket Man's recitation of this great Jarvis Cocker song. This is for the working class boy who always felt slightly condescended as if he were some sort of noble field research experiment conducted by a rich girl who was bemusedly slumming it. Sample lyric - "You will never understand/How it feels to live your life/With no meaning or control/And with nowhere left to go."


2. “Excuse Me While I Break My Own Heart Tonight,” Whiskeytown (Strangers Almanac)

Thanks, but no thanks! Sample lyric - "The situation keeps me drinking every goddamn day and night/Situation just don't seem so right/So excuse me if I break my own heart tonight."  


3. “Mad At A Girl,” Robbie Fulks (Couples In Trouble)

All you can think about is how pissed you are at her and you wouldn't notice if the skies opened up and flooded the earth with blood. Sample lyric - "No, I don't need a close friend's ear, that gut spilling's only for squares/And I never go around mirrors, I don't want to see someone who cares."


4. “You Can Leave Your Hat On,” Randy Newman (Sail Away)

Don't worry, I won't tell anyone about this little escapade. Sample lyric - "Raise your arms up in to the air/Shake 'em/You give me a reason to live."


5. “Only A Fool Breaks His Own Heart,” Nick Lowe (The Convincer)

Are we done with the tantrum? Good, now shut up and listen to some sound advice. Sample lyric - "There's no sense in holding on/To an old love that's gone."


Passed Over For The Promotion/Outright Fired

1. “Fuck This Town,” Robbie Fulks (South Mouth)

Eh, they were a bunch of dumbasses anyway. Sample lyric - "Fuck this town/Fuck it up/And fuck it down."


2. “Big City,” Merle Haggard (Big City)

The Poet of The Common Man gives the nine-to-five grind a richly deserved ass chewing. Sample lyric - "Keep your retirement/And your so-called social security."


3. “O'Malley's Bar,” Nick Cave & The Bad Seeds (Murder Ballads)

What can I say? Some of us handle bad news better than others. Sample lyric - "I smiled at Henry Davenport/Who made an attempt to move/Well, from the position I was standing/The strangest thing I ever saw/The bullet entered through the top of his chest/And blew his bowels out on the floor."


4. “Turn It On, Turn It On, Turn It On”, Tom T. Hall (Storyteller, Poet, Philosopher)

Just in case Nick and the boys weren't able to get all that homicidal rage out of your system. Sample lyric - "Next guy he met was a Stigall boy/And the boy had a hammer in his hand/John said Son, you should've built yourself a box/Cause you're headed for the promised land"


5. “Crazy As A Loon,” John Prine (Fair & Square)

It's the end of the day; you're sitting on the hood of your car with a beer in hand. The stars look lovely tonight. Sample lyric - "I eat fish to pass the time away/'Neath this blue Canadian moon/This old world has made me crazy/Crazy as a loon"


Okay, One Little Detour Into Dante's E-Z Bake Before We Take This Home

1. “Good For Nothing,” Freakwater (End Time)

Freakwater should be available by prescription only. Sample lyric - "I've been good/And I've been good for nothing/I had it bad for something/Seems like a long time ago/And the dirt beneath my nails/Is not from some field of flowers"


2. “I Think It's Going To Rain Today,” Randy Newman (Randy Newman)

Whenever he's asked to pick a favorite out of his own estimable songbook, this one almost always comes up. There's a good reason for that. Sample lyric -"Scarecrows dressed in the latest styles/With frozen smiles to chase love away/Human kindness is overflowing/And I think it's going to rain today"

I only picked two for this one because I don't want the detour to turn into a derailment!


Step It Up And Go (All Purpose Tonics)

1. “Transcendental Blues,” Steve Earle (Transcendental Blues)

Earle commented in the album's liner notes that most of us avoid transcendence "because the shit hurts." Sample lyric - "Back roads never carry you where you want 'em to/They leave you standin' there with them ol' transcendental blues"


2. “I Don't Wanna Grow Up,” Tom Waits (Bone Machine)

In one fell swoop, Waits catalogues every legitimate fear a child has about the adult world of compromise, loss of imagination and acceptance of mediocrity. We may not get out of this world alive but the thrill of this song is in just how hard Waits tries. Sample lyric - "I don't wanna get me a big old loan/Work them fingers to the bone/I don't wanna float a broom/Fall in love and get married then boom/How the hell did it get here so soon/I don't wanna grow up"


3. “Advice To Graduates,” Silver Jews (Starlite Walker)

A commencement speech that would surely bring down the house. Sample lyric - "Don't believe in people who say 'It's all been done'/They have time to talk because their race is run/So get in some licks and hold your head up/And soon you'll be drinking from that crystal cup"


4. “Robot Moving,” Jon Dee Graham (The Great Battle)

You woke up this morning. Make the most of that. Sample lyric - "I swore I'd never use the word 'irony' in a song/Of course the irony is that I never meant to live this long"


5. “About This Love,” Alejandro Escovedo (A Man Under The Influence)

Take it for what it's worth as just one person's opinion, but I truly believe that this is the most beautiful, life-affirming song ever written. Ever. Sample lyric - "It's all about this love/It's all about this pain/It's all about the way/We break, to love again"



Comments? Click here to let us know what you think.